Sep 4, 2009

Pre-Game Conspiracy Theory: Gundy Gave Joe Cox the Flu

If you've been in a cave the past two hours (or work/go to school like a respectable citizen) then you may not have heard the rumors coming out about Joe Cox having "flu like symptoms" and not flying out to Stillwater with the rest of the team. ESPN and UGA Rivals both had stories on it this afternoon.

Keep in mind that at the moment, NOTHING has been confirmed by the UGA football staff, so even if the World Wide Leader (and Georgia's Benedict Arnold himself, Mark Schlabach) reported it, it's still just a rumor.

But what if Cox is sick? What are the chances that this would happen the day before the big game in Stillwater?

Look back to earlier this week, when news sources reported that Coch Mike Gundy of the Oklahoma State Cowboys was stating that he did not want his team to participate in the new "pre-game handshake" with UGA.

And now, suddenly, rumors that Cox is sick?

I don't want to assume here but..... it sounds to me like GUNDY POISONED JOE COX WITH A VIRUS AND DID NOT WANT HIS PLAYERS TO GET SICK WHILE SHAKING HANDS BEFORE THE GAME.

I always knew this guy looked familiar... he looks like something of the purest maniacal evil, something that appears from the darkest of places to stab you in the back and make your life miserable, always glaring with spiked, gel-filled hair and strangely dark complexion.
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But he didn't stop to think that even if they didn't shake hands before the game, they would be tackling each other for the next 3 hours on the field. And little does he know that Joe Cox, "The Ginger Avenger," is not affected by mortal viruses, but he can spread them with potent accuracy to any orange-clad players who oppose him. Hope you have your surgical masks prepared, Coach Gundy. Your plan is about to backfire.

(Note: The above post was meant to be entirely ridiculous and false. The rumors about Joe Cox have NOT been confirmed, and whether he is sick or not, the only advice I can offer is to PUT HIM ON AN ORANGE JUICE IV NOW.)

(UPDATE 4:40 PM: UGA Athletic staff have confirmed to UGASports.com that Cox had flu-like symptoms Thursday, but has "improved" and likely will travel to Stillwater tonight.)

1 comment:

  1. I know he wasn't wild about the idea, but I think Joe needs to shake the hand of every OSU player before the game.

    And he should cough on Gundy's face.

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